[0.0s] A Dumb Dragon's Special Presentation.
[14.0s] Hello, everybody. It's me, Leosin, just warming everybody up before the show tonight just to let you know what's going on here.
[22.0s] Some of our adventurers have decided to put on a play.
[26.0s] And that play is A Christmas Carol, and we're calling it A Dumb John's Christmas Carol.
[31.0s] It's based on the stage adaptation of Charles Dickens' original work, The Christmas Carol, obviously.
[37.0s] This one originally by Frederick Gaines.
[40.0s] There's so many recognizable voices that you're going to see on stage here, and we can't wait to share it with you.
[46.0s] So please grab your snacks, sit down in the front row here.
[50.0s] Yes, I see you, Arvid. You just have a seat there and we'll get the show going.
[54.0s] Alright, stage is set. I'm getting word that everybody's ready.
[58.0s] And we hope you enjoy this presentation of A Dumb John's Christmas Carol.
[77.0s] The play begins amid a swirl of street life in Victorian London.
[81.0s] Happy groups pass, brightly costumed carolers and families call out to one another and sing.
[87.0s] Joy to the world!
[91.0s] Softly as the children talk.
[93.0s] I've got to get over and clean out the fireplace and Miss Brickenstone's.
[97.0s] I love being a child.
[99.0s] A child in Victorian England is fantastic. Look at that chimney. It's fun.
[103.0s] Let's go! Play in the chimney!
[106.0s] My shift starts in three minutes.
[108.0s] Bob Cratchit, a clerk who works in Scrooge's office, comes in.
[112.0s] He takes some coal from the mound and puts it into a small bucket.
[116.0s] Scrooge's nephew, Fred, enters, talks with the children, gives them coins and sends them away.
[122.0s] With a Merry Christmas.
[124.0s] Here you go. One for you and one for you and three for you.
[127.0s] Merry Christmas, Uncle! Bahamut save you!
[132.0s] Bah, humbug.
[134.0s] Christmas is a humbug, Uncle.
[136.0s] I hope that's meant as a joke.
[138.0s] Well, it's not.
[139.0s] Come, what do you want? Don't waste my time. I don't have all day, nephew.
[143.0s] I only want to wish you a Merry Christmas, Uncle.
[146.0s] Don't be a jerk about it.
[148.0s] Well, what else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this?
[152.0s] Merry Christmas.
[153.0s] Well, let's out with Merry Christmas.
[155.0s] What's Christmas to you but a time for paying all your bills with no money, by the way?
[160.0s] And a time for finding yourself a year older but no richer?
[164.0s] Richer? If I could work my will, every idiot who would go about with Merry Christmas on his lips
[170.0s] would be boiled in their own pudding and buried with a stick of holly through his heart.
[175.0s] Oh, that is a vivid picture, Uncle.
[179.0s] So nephew, keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine.
[184.0s] But you don't keep it.
[185.0s] That's right I don't, so you should leave it alone.
[187.0s] Because good may it do you. Much good has it ever done you.
[191.0s] There are a lot of things that I love that don't make me money.
[195.0s] Like, you know, when you get up super early and go on a really long run
[198.0s] and then you plank for like 40 minutes and like that doesn't put any money in my pocket.
[202.0s] But I love it so it's worth it.
[204.0s] And that's what Christmas is all about.
[206.0s] It's done a lot of good for me.
[208.0s] And I say, bah hamet blesset.
[210.0s] Bah.
[211.0s] Don't be angry, Uncle.
[213.0s] Come, have dinner with us tomorrow.
[215.0s] Zumba after dinner.
[216.0s] Oh, yeah, no thanks. I'll dine alone.
[218.0s] But why?
[220.0s] Why?
[221.0s] Why did you get married?
[223.0s] Well, because I fell in love with a wonderful girl.
[226.0s] And I fell in love with myself.
[228.0s] Good afternoon.
[229.0s] Oh, Uncle, you never came to see me before I was married.
[233.0s] So how can you now say, well, now you're married so I'm not going to come?
[236.0s] I said good afternoon.
[238.0s] I'm sorry with all my heart to find you so determined.
[241.0s] But I've made the attempt to honor Christmas and I'm going to keep that good spirit to the last.
[247.0s] So a Merry Christmas to you, Uncle.
[249.0s] A good afternoon.
[251.0s] And a Happy New Year. Bahamats blessings.
[253.0s] Oh, good afternoon.
[257.0s] Fred hesitates as if to say something more.
[259.0s] He sees that Scrooge has gone to get a book down from the shelf and he starts to leave.
[264.0s] As he leaves, the doorbell rings.
[266.0s] Bells!
[267.0s] Is it necessary to always have the fucking bells?
[270.0s] The gentlemen visitors enter, causing the doorbell to ring again.
[274.0s] Cratchit!
[275.0s] Yes, sir?
[277.0s] The bell, fool. See to it. Stop making the noise.
[281.0s] Yes, sir.
[282.0s] He goes to the entrance.
[284.0s] Merry Christmas.
[285.0s] Wolves howling and a Merry Christmas.
[288.0s] It's for you, sir.
[289.0s] No, duh.
[290.0s] You're not receiving anybody here, are you?
[292.0s] Show them in.
[294.0s] Right this way.
[296.0s] The gentlemen visitors approach Scrooge.
[299.0s] Yes? What?
[301.0s] Scrooge and Marley's, I believe.
[303.0s] Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?
[309.0s] Well, let me see.
[310.0s] Molly's dead.
[312.0s] Seven years tonight, so what do you think?
[314.0s] Well, I...
[315.0s] What do you want?
[316.0s] I have no doubt that his kindness is well represented by you, his surviving partner.
[321.0s] Here, sir, our card.
[323.0s] He hands Scrooge his business card.
[325.0s] Kindness? No doubt of it.
[327.0s] All right, all right. I can read. What do you want?
[329.0s] He returns to his work.
[331.0s] At this, the festive season of the year...
[333.0s] Yeah, festive my ass. It's winter and it's cold.
[336.0s] Well, and you make a great point, and that's actually why we're here.
[340.0s] At this time of year, people might like to set aside just a little something for the poor and the penniless
[345.0s] and their suffering because they're outside and it's cold
[347.0s] and they don't even really have like shoes or socks or coats or roofs or food
[352.0s] and, you know, just sort of the common comforts.
[355.0s] People don't have those hundreds of thousands of them.
[358.0s] Oh, are there no debtors' prisons?
[361.0s] Many, sir.
[363.0s] And the workhouse, is it still working?
[367.0s] Yeah, it is still, although I do wish I could say it was not.
[372.0s] And the poor law, is that still like in full strength then?
[377.0s] Yes, sir.
[378.0s] Well, I'm glad to hear it.
[380.0s] From what you said, I was afraid someone had stopped its operation altogether.
[384.0s] Well, because it's such a terrible place and so many people are in need,
[389.0s] a few of us were hoping to raise some money to buy the poor some meat and drink and means of warmth
[394.0s] and, of course, we chose this time of year out of all of the times of year
[398.0s] because everybody feels their want so strongly and everybody's rejoicing in abundance
[403.0s] and what can I put down for you, sir?
[406.0s] Nothing.
[407.0s] Ah, you wish to be anonymous. Very generous.
[410.0s] I wish to be left alone.
[413.0s] And since you asked me what I wish, sir, that's my answer.
[418.0s] I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make lazy people merry either.
[424.0s] I help support the establishments that I have mentioned
[429.0s] and they cost enough money so those who are poorly must go there.
[432.0s] Well, many can't go there and honestly many would rather die than go there.
[437.0s] Okay, well, if they'd rather die they'd better do it and decrease the surplus population.
[442.0s] That's not my business. My business is my business.
[446.0s] It occupies me constantly.
[449.0s] He talks both to the gentleman visitors and himself while he thumbs through his books.
[454.0s] Ask a man to give up life and means. Fine thing.
[457.0s] What is it I want to know? Charity?
[459.0s] Damn charity.
[461.0s] His nose deep in his books, he vaguely hears the dinner bell being rung in the workhouse.
[465.0s] He looks up as if he has heard it but never focuses on the actual scene.
[469.0s] The warder of the poorhouse stands in a pool of light at the far left, slowly ringing a bell.
[474.0s] Dinner! Alright. Come and get it, yo.
[478.0s] The poorly clad, dirty residents of the poorhouse line up and file by to get their evening dish of gruel,
[483.0s] wordlessly accepting it and going back to eat listlessly in the gloom.
[487.0s] Scrooge returns to the business of his office.
[490.0s] The procession continues for a moment, then the image of the poorhouse is hidden by darkness.
[495.0s] The dejected gentleman visitors exit.
[498.0s] Fucking lock the door, Cratchit!
[500.0s] Like, both of them, firmly.
[503.0s] God, draft is cold as Christmas blowing in here. Charity.
[507.0s] Suddenly, carolers appear on the platform and a few phrases of their carol,
[512.0s] Angels we have heard high, are heard.
[518.0s] Scrooge looks up.
[519.0s] Cratchit!
[520.0s] As soon as Scrooge shouts, the carolers vanish and Cratchit begins to close up the shop.
[524.0s] Cratchit!
[525.0s] Yes, sir?
[526.0s] Well, to work, then?
[528.0s] It's evening, sir.
[530.0s] No duh.
[532.0s] It's Christmas evening, sir.
[535.0s] Oh. You want all day off tomorrow, I suppose.
[539.0s] I mean, yeah. Well, if it's convenient, sir.
[544.0s] Yeah, it's not convenient. It's not fair.
[547.0s] If I was to deduct half a crown from your salary for it.
[551.0s] You wouldn't.
[552.0s] You'd think yourself ill-used, wouldn't you?
[555.0s] And you still expect me to pay a day's wage for a day and no work?
[559.0s] It's only once a year, sir.
[561.0s] Be here all the earlier next morning.
[565.0s] I will, sir.
[567.0s] Get out of here.
[568.0s] Yes, sir.
[570.0s] Merry Christmas, sir.
[571.0s] Bah!
[572.0s] As soon as Cratchit opens the door, the sounds of the street begin, very bright and loud.
[576.0s] Cratchit is caught up in a swell of people hurrying down the street.
[580.0s] Children pull him along the top of an ice slide, and he runs and slides down it, disappearing in darkness as the stage suddenly is left almost empty.
[588.0s] Scrooge goes around the room, blowing out candles, talking to himself.
[592.0s] Christmas Eve.
[594.0s] Carolers. Bah!
[596.0s] There. Another day.
[599.0s] He opens his door and peers out.
[601.0s] Dark. Very dark. Now where are they?
[607.0s] The children are heard singing carols for a moment.
[610.0s] Oh, begging pennies for the songs, are they?
[613.0s] Oh, boy.
[625.0s] Grandma's not gonna run by while you're in here!
[629.0s] Hey! Quiet! Quiet! Shut the fuck up down there!
[632.0s] Get off now!
[633.0s] There, that's it.
[636.0s] It's black as pitch out there.
[638.0s] The house of Ebenezer Scrooge.
[641.0s] Yeah. Here's the key.
[645.0s] He turns the key towards the door, and the face of Jacob Marley, Scrooge's deceased business partner, swims out of the darkness.
[652.0s] Scrooge watches, unable to speak.
[655.0s] He fumbles for a match, lights the lantern, and swings it towards the figure, which melts away.
[661.0s] Scrooge fits the key in the lock and turns it as the door suddenly is opened from the inside by the porter, Sparset.
[668.0s] Scrooge is startled, then recovers.
[670.0s] Sparset?
[671.0s] Yes, sir. It is I, Sparset.
[676.0s] Emerging from the shadows, where I live.
[679.0s] Okay, so hurry up. The door. Close it.
[683.0s] Did you knock, sir?
[685.0s] Knock? What the fuck? It's my house. What's the matter?
[688.0s] Never mind. Just give me some light up the stairs.
[691.0s] Yes, sir. I will push back the darkness for you.
[696.0s] He leads Scrooge up the stairs. They pass the cook on the way.
[699.0s] Scrooge brushes by here, stops, looks back, and leans towards him.
[704.0s] Uh, something to warm you, sir.
[708.0s] Porch? It's your favorite.
[710.0s] What?
[711.0s] It's bland. Flavorless.
[713.0s] No. No, nothing.
[716.0s] Waiting for her Christmas coin.
[721.0s] Merry Christmas, sir.
[725.0s] Scrooge ignores the request, and the cook disappears.
[728.0s] Mumbling, Scrooge follows Sparset.
[730.0s] Fucking good.
[733.0s] Looking back after the cook has gone.
[735.0s] Right at the end of his life. Merry Christmas.
[739.0s] Bah!
[740.0s] Your room, sir!
[742.0s] Okay, yeah, it's my... You don't have to... Listen, okay.
[745.0s] You don't have to announce every single fucking room we go into, okay?
[748.0s] It's my house. I know it's my room. Good night.
[752.0s] Understood.
[753.0s] Extending his hand for his coin.
[755.0s] Merry Christmas, sir.
[758.0s] Yes, yes.
[760.0s] He sees the outstretched hand.
[762.0s] He knows what Sparset wants, and is infuriated.
[765.0s] No! Out! Get out!
[769.0s] He closes the door after Sparset, turns towards his chamber,
[773.0s] and discovers the Char Woman, a woman hired to do the cleaning, directly behind him.
[779.0s] I'll warm your bed for you, sir!
[781.0s] What, like, you get in and roll around in it before I get in?
[784.0s] That's weird and unnecessary. No! Out! Get out!
[789.0s] Aye, sir.
[790.0s] She starts for the door. Marley's voice is heard mumbling something unintelligible.
[794.0s] Why you gotta be so rude?
[799.0s] What's that? Is it magic?
[803.0s] Me, sir? Not a thing, sir.
[806.0s] Yeah, okay. Good night, then. Go.
[809.0s] Good night.
[812.0s] She exits, and Scrooge pantomimes, shutting the door behind her.
[815.0s] The voice of Marley over an offstage microphone whispers and reverberates.
[820.0s] Merry Christmas, Scrooge!
[826.0s] Silence.
[828.0s] Scrooge hears the voice, but cannot account for it.
[831.0s] He climbs up to an open window, and looks down.
[834.0s] A cathedral choir singing,
[836.0s] O come all ye table,
[841.0s] is heard in the distance.
[843.0s] Scrooge listens a moment, shuts the window, and prepares for bed.
[847.0s] As soon as he has shut the sound out of his room, figures appear.
[851.0s] They seem to be coming down the main aisle of a church, bearing gifts to the living nursery.
[855.0s] The orchestra plays as the procession files out.
[866.0s] Scrooge, ready for bed, warms himself before the heap of coals.
[870.0s] As he pulls his nightcap from a chair, a small handbell tumbles off onto the floor.
[875.0s] Startled, he picks it up and rings it for reassurance.
[879.0s] An echo answers it.
[882.0s] Scrooge escapes to his bed.
[885.0s] The bell sounds grow to a din, incoherent as in a dream, then suddenly fall silent.
[891.0s] Scrooge sits up in bed, listens, hears the chains of Marley coming up the stairs.
[896.0s] Scrooge reaches for the bell pole to summon Sparset.
[899.0s] The bell responds with a gong, and Marley appears.
[902.0s] He and Scrooge face one another.
[904.0s] Oh, hi, Scrooge!
[906.0s] Hey, it's me!
[908.0s] What do you want with me?
[910.0s] Oh, much.
[914.0s] Who are you?
[916.0s] Oh, more ask who I was.
[920.0s] Don't tell me you had to ask a question.
[923.0s] Who were you?
[925.0s] In life, I was your partner, Jacob Marley.
[929.0s] Okay, so he's dead.
[932.0s] Yes, seven years, this night, Ebeneezer Scrooge.
[935.0s] I said that earlier today, I know.
[938.0s] So why are you here?
[940.0s] I must! It is commanded by me!
[943.0s] I must wander the world and see what I can no longer share.
[948.0s] And what I would not share when I walked where you do.
[952.0s] Yeah, no, that's fucking confusing.
[954.0s] So you, like, have to do something with the chain?
[957.0s] I don't know.
[958.0s] The chains, look at them.
[960.0s] They are very shiny, Ebeneezer, study them.
[963.0s] They are locks and bolts and gold coins.
[966.0s] Seems heavy.
[967.0s] I forged them.
[969.0s] I crafted them with deco pot.
[973.0s] Each link, each day, when I sat in these chairs,
[977.0s] commanded these rooms, greet Ebeneezer and Vel,
[981.0s] feel them, know them.
[984.0s] Yours was as heavy as this I wear seven years ago,
[989.0s] and you have labored to build it since.
[993.0s] So, if you're here to, like, give me a talk and lecture me and stuff,
[998.0s] like, I don't have time for that.
[999.0s] It's really late, it's cold, I don't know if you know that,
[1002.0s] and I would like my comforts now.
[1003.0s] Oh, I have no comfort for you.
[1005.0s] I know not how you see me this night.
[1009.0s] I did not ask it.
[1010.0s] I was like, Scrooge, I don't want to see him, not on Christmas.
[1014.0s] I have sat invisible beside you many and many a day.
[1017.0s] That's creepy.
[1018.0s] Wishing that I could see you, but not tonight specifically.
[1021.0s] I was out on a date, and then they sent me here with these chains again.
[1026.0s] I am commanded to bring you a chance, Ebeneezer.
[1029.0s] Heed it!
[1030.0s] Okay, get on with it then.
[1032.0s] You are going to be haunted tonight by three spirits.
[1038.0s] Is that, is that, yeah, okay.
[1041.0s] Yeah, yeah, mark it, three spirits.
[1043.0s] Yeah, no, no, I don't, no, I will not mark it.
[1047.0s] Oh, then I will walk where I do.
[1051.0s] Yeah, you should walk where you do.
[1052.0s] Burdened by your riches, your greed.
[1054.0s] I'm burdened?
[1056.0s] Okay, listen, ghosts don't mean, they don't mean nothing to me.
[1059.0s] Oh, I'm going to slowly back away now.
[1063.0s] Expect the first tomorrow when the bell tolls one,
[1068.0s] the second the next night at the same hour,
[1072.0s] and the third upon the next night when the last stroke of twelve has ended.
[1076.0s] So like the same hour?
[1077.0s] Look to see me no more.
[1079.0s] I've left the room.
[1081.0s] I must wander and echo through your halls.
[1085.0s] Look over there!
[1086.0s] What? No.
[1087.0s] Jacob, don't, don't, that was fucking stupid.
[1090.0s] Jacob!
[1091.0s] Goodbye, Ebeneezer!
[1093.0s] At Marley's last words, a funeral procession begins to move across the stage.
[1098.0s] A boy walks in front, a priest follows, swinging a censer.
[1102.0s] Sounds of mourning and the suggestion of church music are heard.
[1105.0s] Scrooge calls out.
[1107.0s] Jacob, don't leave me!
[1110.0s] As if talking in the midst of a bad dream, Scrooge pulls shut the bed curtains.
[1115.0s] The bell sounds are picked up.
[1117.0s] The clock begins to chime, ringing the hours.
[1119.0s] I need fucking pills.
[1120.0s] Scrooge sits up in bed and begins to count the chimes.
[1123.0s] Okay, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
[1127.0s] What? It can't be.
[1129.0s] Twelve? Midnight?
[1131.0s] No, not twelve, it can't be.
[1132.0s] I haven't slept the whole day through.
[1134.0s] Twelve.
[1135.0s] Okay, yes, twelve noon.
[1138.0s] He hurries to the window and looks out.
[1141.0s] Oh, black.
[1143.0s] Oh, twelve midnight.
[1145.0s] Pause.
[1147.0s] I must get up, it's a day wasted.
[1149.0s] I gotta get down to the office.
[1151.0s] Two small chimes are heard.
[1153.0s] Well, that's quarter past, but it just rang twelve.
[1156.0s] Fifteen minutes hasn't gone past, that's too fast.
[1159.0s] Again, two small chimes are heard.
[1161.0s] It's a quarter to one.
[1163.0s] The spirit, Molly said he would come at one.
[1167.0s] He hurries to his bed as the chimes ring again.
[1173.0s] One.
[1185.0s] The hour is struck again by a large street clock and the first spirit appears.
[1190.0s] It is a figure dressed to look like a little girl's doll.
[1194.0s] Are you the spirit who's coming to me that Molly said was coming?
[1202.0s] I am.
[1206.0s] Oh, okay, who and what are you?
[1211.0s] I am the ghost of Christmas past.
[1216.0s] Like, like long past, like yesterday, like five years ago.
[1222.0s] Your past.
[1225.0s] So why are you here?
[1229.0s] Your welfare.
[1232.0s] Rise, walk with me.
[1235.0s] Okay, but I'm just like a mortal person and I can't just float through the air.
[1240.0s] My hand.
[1242.0s] Scrooge grasps the spirit hand tightly and the doll's bells ring softly.
[1247.0s] Scrooge remembers a scene from his past in which two boys greet each other in the street.
[1252.0s] Hello, Jack.
[1253.0s] Ben.
[1254.0s] Merry Christmas, Ben.
[1255.0s] Jack Walton?
[1256.0s] Young Jack Walton.
[1258.0s] Spirits, what is?
[1259.0s] Well, have a good holiday, Jack.
[1261.0s] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember him.
[1264.0s] Both of them.
[1265.0s] That's little Ben Benjamin and he used to...
[1271.0s] See you next term, Jack.
[1272.0s] Next term.
[1273.0s] Oh, yeah, they're off of the holidays and going home from school because it's Christmas time and all the children off home now.
[1280.0s] And well, okay, well, no, not all the children there.
[1284.0s] There was one.
[1287.0s] The spirit motions for Scrooge to turn and he sees a young boy playing with a teddy bear and talking to it.
[1293.0s] Yeah, reading.
[1296.0s] Poor kid.
[1297.0s] What?
[1298.0s] I wonder.
[1299.0s] Reading?
[1300.0s] Oh, it was nothing.
[1302.0s] All fantasy and make believe and take me away and shit like that.
[1306.0s] Yeah, all of it.
[1307.0s] It's just it's all nonsense.
[1309.0s] Alibaba.
[1312.0s] Yeah, that was it.
[1314.0s] Genie, take me to the gates of Damascus.
[1319.0s] Yes, old master.
[1321.0s] And jewels I shall bring you and gold and myrrh and frankincense.
[1326.0s] And they put him down.
[1327.0s] Do you remember?
[1328.0s] That silly one at the gate of Damascus in his under drawers asleep.
[1333.0s] Yes.
[1334.0s] Yes.
[1335.0s] The genie turned the sultan's groom upside down and stood him on his head.
[1339.0s] Served him right, I say.
[1340.0s] And all the thieves and the jars of oil.
[1343.0s] Scrooge pretends to stab the jars of oil with his scimitar.
[1346.0s] Yes.
[1347.0s] Yes.
[1348.0s] And running them true.
[1349.0s] This and this and this for each of you.
[1351.0s] Yes.
[1352.0s] And remember?
[1353.0s] Do you remember?
[1354.0s] Remember Robinson Crusoe?
[1356.0s] And the parrot.
[1357.0s] It was the parrot I loved him best.
[1359.0s] Imitating the parrot.
[1361.0s] With his stripey green body and yellow tail drooping along and couldn't sing.
[1366.0s] But could talk.
[1368.0s] And a thing like lettuce grown out the top of his head.
[1372.0s] And he used to sit on the very top of the tree up there.
[1376.0s] And Robinson Crusoe sailed around the island.
[1379.0s] And he thought the parrot said.
[1381.0s] The parrot said.
[1383.0s] Robinson Crusoe, where you been?
[1386.0s] Robinson Crusoe, where you been?
[1388.0s] And Robinson Crusoe looked up in the tree.
[1391.0s] He saw the parrot and he knew he hadn't escaped and he was still there.
[1396.0s] He's still alone there.
[1398.0s] Poor Robinson Crusoe.
[1401.0s] Poor Robinson Crusoe.
[1404.0s] Poor kid.
[1406.0s] Poor kid.
[1409.0s] Why poor?
[1411.0s] It's all fantasy.
[1414.0s] He tries to mask his feelings by being impolite.
[1417.0s] But it's his way, you know.
[1420.0s] It's a kid's way to lose being alone and just dreaming.
[1424.0s] And that doesn't matter because it's all nonsense.
[1427.0s] Yeah.
[1428.0s] It's just nonsense.
[1430.0s] But he's going to be alright.
[1431.0s] He's going to grow out of it.
[1433.0s] Yeah.
[1434.0s] He did grow out of it.
[1435.0s] All that nonsense.
[1436.0s] Became a man.
[1438.0s] And left there.
[1439.0s] And he became.
[1441.0s] Yeah.
[1442.0s] Yeah.
[1443.0s] A man.
[1444.0s] And yeah.
[1445.0s] And successful.
[1446.0s] And rich.
[1447.0s] The sadness returns.
[1450.0s] Never matter.
[1452.0s] Never matter.
[1454.0s] Fan, Scrooge's sister, runs in and goes to Child Scrooge.
[1459.0s] Fan?
[1461.0s] Brother.
[1462.0s] Dear brother.
[1465.0s] She kisses Child Scrooge.
[1466.0s] Dear dear Fan.
[1468.0s] I've come to bring you home.
[1470.0s] Home for good and ever.
[1472.0s] Come with me.
[1473.0s] Come now.
[1477.0s] She takes his hand and they start to run off,
[1479.0s] but the spirit stops them and signals for the light on them to fade.
[1484.0s] They look at the spirit,
[1485.0s] aware of their role in the spirit's education of Scrooge.
[1488.0s] Well, let me watch him go.
[1492.0s] Let him be happy for like a minute.
[1495.0s] The spirit says nothing.
[1497.0s] Scrooge turns away from them and the light goes out.
[1500.0s] A delicate, delicate child.
[1502.0s] Like a soft breeze might have blown her over.
[1506.0s] She dies a woman and had, as I remember, children.
[1512.0s] One child.
[1514.0s] Your nephew?
[1516.0s] Yes.
[1517.0s] Yeah.
[1518.0s] Fred.
[1519.0s] My nephew.
[1520.0s] Scrooge pauses, then tries to bluster through.
[1523.0s] Well, all of us have that, haven't we?
[1526.0s] Like childhood, sadness, trauma.
[1528.0s] But we grow and we become men.
[1530.0s] Masters of ourselves.
[1533.0s] The spirit gestures for the music, Fezzowig's Party, to begin.
[1537.0s] It is heard first as from a great distance.
[1540.0s] Then Scrooge becomes aware of it.
[1542.0s] I've no time for it, spirit.
[1544.0s] Music?
[1545.0s] And now your Christmas bullshit?
[1547.0s] Yes, yes.
[1548.0s] I've learned what you have to show me.
[1550.0s] Fezzowig, young Ebenezer, and Dick appear busily preparing for the party.
[1554.0s] Oh, there.
[1555.0s] Ebenezer, Dick, come on in.
[1558.0s] Fezzowig?
[1559.0s] It's old Fezzowig that I apprentice under.
[1562.0s] Your master?
[1563.0s] Oh, yes.
[1564.0s] And the best that any boy could have.
[1566.0s] And there's Dick Wilkins.
[1568.0s] Oh, God.
[1569.0s] He was very much attached to me, was Dick.
[1572.0s] Oh, poor Dick.
[1574.0s] My boys, my boys, no more work tonight.
[1576.0s] Step away from your stations.
[1578.0s] It's Christmas Eve.
[1579.0s] Ebenezer, Dick, stop the work.
[1581.0s] Let's have the shutters up before a man can say
[1583.0s] Jack Robinson.
[1584.0s] The music continues.
[1585.0s] Chandeliers are pulled into position.
[1587.0s] And Mistletoe, Holly, and Ivy are draped over everything
[1590.0s] by buffling servants.
[1592.0s] Dancers fill the stage for Fezzowig's wonderful Christmas party.
[1596.0s] In the midst of the dancing and the laughter,
[1598.0s] servants pass back and forth through the crowd
[1600.0s] with huge platters of food.
[1602.0s] At a pause in the music, young Ebenezer,
[1604.0s] who was dancing, calls out.
[1606.0s] Mr. Fezzowig, sir, you're a wonderful master.
[1611.0s] A wonderful master.
[1616.0s] A wonderful master.
[1619.0s] The music changes suddenly, and the dancers
[1621.0s] jerk into distorted postures
[1623.0s] and then begin to move in slow motion.
[1625.0s] The celebrants slowly exit,
[1627.0s] performing a ghoulish dance to the jarring sounds.
[1630.0s] Well, that's fucking weird.
[1631.0s] That was creepy.
[1632.0s] Just because he gave us a party,
[1635.0s] it was very small.
[1637.0s] Small?
[1639.0s] He spent a few pounds of your mortal money.
[1642.0s] Three, four at the most.
[1645.0s] Is that so much that he deserves this praise?
[1649.0s] Yeah, okay, but listen.
[1650.0s] It wasn't about the money.
[1652.0s] He had the power to make us happy,
[1654.0s] to make our service light,
[1656.0s] or give us a shit-ton of work.
[1658.0s] The happiness he gives us
[1660.0s] quite as great as if it had cost a fortune.
[1663.0s] That's what a good master is.
[1667.0s] Yes?
[1669.0s] Uh, nothing.
[1672.0s] Something, I think.
[1675.0s] Well, I should like to be able to say
[1678.0s] a word or two to my clerk just now.
[1680.0s] That's all.
[1681.0s] But this is all in your past.
[1683.0s] Your clerk, Cratchit, couldn't be here.
[1686.0s] No, no, no, no, of course not.
[1688.0s] It was an idle thought.
[1690.0s] Are we done?
[1691.0s] Motioning for the waltz music to begin.
[1693.0s] Nearly.
[1696.0s] Hearing the waltz and remembering it.
[1698.0s] Oh, surely it's enough.
[1701.0s] Haven't you tormented me enough?
[1703.0s] Young Ebenezer has seen waltzing
[1705.0s] with his sweetheart.
[1707.0s] I only show the past,
[1709.0s] what it promised you.
[1711.0s] Look, another promise.
[1714.0s] Oh, oh, yes.
[1717.0s] I'd forgotten her.
[1719.0s] Don't they dance beautifully?
[1721.0s] So young, so young.
[1724.0s] I would have married her if only...
[1727.0s] Can you love me, sweet Ebenezer,
[1730.0s] a simple janitor?
[1732.0s] I bring no dowry into my marriage,
[1734.0s] only me, only love.
[1736.0s] It is no currency that you can buy and sell with,
[1739.0s] but we can live with it.
[1741.0s] Can you?
[1743.0s] She pauses, then returns the ring
[1745.0s] Scrooge gave her as his pledge.
[1747.0s] I release you, sweet Ebenezer,
[1749.0s] for the love of the man you once were.
[1752.0s] Will that man win me again
[1754.0s] now that he is free?
[1756.0s] If only it held me to it.
[1758.0s] You shouldn't have let me go.
[1760.0s] I was young, I did love you.
[1762.0s] We have never lied to one another.
[1764.0s] May you be happy in the life you have chosen.
[1767.0s] Goodbye!
[1768.0s] She runs out.
[1769.0s] Young Ebenezer slowly leaves.
[1772.0s] No, no, it didn't go down like that.
[1777.0s] You cannot change now,
[1779.0s] what you would not change then.
[1782.0s] I am your mistakes, Ebenezer Scrooge.
[1785.0s] All of the things you could have done and did not.
[1789.0s] Then go.
[1790.0s] I've done with them.
[1792.0s] I'll live with them.
[1793.0s] I've been living with them,
[1795.0s] and I'll continue to live with them.
[1797.0s] There is another Christmas,
[1799.0s] seven years ago,
[1801.0s] when Marley died.
[1803.0s] No.
[1804.0s] I will not see it.
[1806.0s] I will not.
[1807.0s] He dies.
[1808.0s] I couldn't prevent it.
[1809.0s] I couldn't stop it.
[1810.0s] I didn't choose for him to die on Christmas Day, okay?
[1813.0s] And when his day was chosen,
[1816.0s] what did you do then?
[1818.0s] Well, I looked after his affairs.
[1822.0s] His business.
[1823.0s] Yes, his business.
[1825.0s] Mine.
[1826.0s] It was all I had.
[1828.0s] All I could do in this world.
[1830.0s] I have nothing to do with the world that comes after.
[1834.0s] Then I will leave you.
[1836.0s] Hold up.
[1837.0s] Not yet.
[1838.0s] No, you can't leave me here.
[1839.0s] You gotta tell me what I have to do.
[1841.0s] What's going on with the other spirits?
[1843.0s] They will come.
[1844.0s] Bond you?
[1845.0s] What are you gonna do?
[1846.0s] I am always with you.
[1849.0s] Oh, that's creepy.
[1851.0s] Scrooge numbly heads to bed.
[1853.0s] Signal the chiming of Scrooge's bell.
[1855.0s] Scrooge sits upright in bed as he hears the chimes.
[1859.0s] One minute until when?
[1861.0s] No one here?
[1863.0s] Well, no one's coming.
[1866.0s] A larger clock strikes one o'clock.
[1884.0s] A light comes on.
[1885.0s] Scrooge becomes aware of it and goes slowly to it.
[1888.0s] He sees the second spirit, the spirit of Christmas present,
[1891.0s] who looks like Fezzowick.
[1893.0s] Fezzowick?
[1895.0s] Hello, Scrooge.
[1897.0s] But you can't be.
[1899.0s] Not Fezzowick.
[1901.0s] Is that who you see me as?
[1903.0s] Yeah.
[1904.0s] Well, do you hear me as him as well?
[1908.0s] Uh-huh, yeah.
[1909.0s] Well, you should probably get your eyes and ears checked, old man,
[1912.0s] because I am not that gentleman.
[1914.0s] So I'm sorry to disappoint you.
[1916.0s] But you're not...
[1918.0s] No, no I'm not, Scrooge.
[1920.0s] You have never seen the like of me before.
[1923.0s] I am the ghost of Christmas present,
[1926.0s] here to give you...
[1927.0s] Hold on.
[1928.0s] You still choose to see what you will, don't you, Scrooge?
[1933.0s] But you're not going to see it anymore.
[1935.0s] Not if you take a walk with me on this Christmas Eve.
[1938.0s] Would you take a walk with me?
[1940.0s] Yeah, I'm in my...
[1942.0s] I'm in my jammies.
[1944.0s] Oh, don't worry about that.
[1946.0s] Take my tails, dear boy,
[1948.0s] for we're heading out into the world.
[1950.0s] Like the edges of your pants?
[1953.0s] No, my tail.
[1955.0s] I am a spirit with a tail.
[1956.0s] That's what I wanted when I took the role, so...
[1959.0s] Just grab the tail.
[1960.0s] It's totally fine.
[1961.0s] Oh, okay.
[1962.0s] Don't wag it.
[1963.0s] It's weird.
[1964.0s] Wait, wait, hold on.
[1965.0s] You're wagging it.
[1966.0s] Just...
[1967.0s] Okay, let's go.
[1968.0s] What is it now?
[1969.0s] Wait.
[1970.0s] Christmas present, you said?
[1972.0s] That I did.
[1973.0s] Then we're traveling here?
[1975.0s] Yes.
[1976.0s] In this town?
[1977.0s] Yeah.
[1978.0s] Yeah, of course.
[1979.0s] Okay, then we could walk, right?
[1981.0s] Because you fly in, well, it's...
[1983.0s] It's too much for an old man's hut.
[1985.0s] The first one didn't talk about...
[1987.0s] They definitely did.
[1988.0s] I know them fairly well.
[1989.0s] So it's your Christmas, Scoot.
[1991.0s] Scooch.
[1992.0s] That's what they used to call me when I was a kid.
[1994.0s] And it's really offensive, and I don't like it.
[1996.0s] I apologize.
[1998.0s] I apologize, Scooch.
[1999.0s] Scrooge.
[2000.0s] It's your Christmas.
[2002.0s] I am merely the guide.
[2004.0s] Can we whack?
[2006.0s] Fine.
[2007.0s] The spirit nods.
[2008.0s] Ugh.
[2009.0s] Okay, well, we a guide meet you.
[2010.0s] Oh, you're gonna like this one.
[2011.0s] Are you ready?
[2012.0s] You ready?
[2013.0s] No.
[2014.0s] I've been ready this whole time.
[2015.0s] Well, get ready.
[2016.0s] It's Bob Cratchit's.
[2017.0s] Let's go.
[2018.0s] My clerk?
[2019.0s] Yeah, you said you wanted to talk to him.
[2020.0s] That's...
[2021.0s] That's what Christmas Past told me.
[2024.0s] Don't worry if you don't want to talk to Bob.
[2027.0s] You won't have to.
[2028.0s] In fact, it may be better that way.
[2030.0s] Yeah, well, you know, it shouldn't be too much of a trip.
[2032.0s] With 15 Bob a week, how far off can it be?
[2035.0s] It's a world away, Scrooge.
[2037.0s] At least that far.
[2040.0s] Scrooge and the spirit start to step off a curb
[2042.0s] when a funeral procession enters with the child's coffin,
[2045.0s] followed by the poor house children who are singing.
[2048.0s] Follow them, Scrooge.
[2052.0s] Follow the music.
[2056.0s] The procession follows the coffin off stage.
[2059.0s] Scrooge and the spirit exit after the procession.
[2062.0s] As they leave, the lights focus on Mrs. Cratchit and her children.
[2066.0s] Mrs. Cratchit sings as she puts Tiny Tim and the other children to bed,
[2070.0s] all in one bed.
[2071.0s] She pulls a dark blanket over them.
[2074.0s] When you wake, you shall have all the pretty little horses,
[2082.0s] demon steeds, poison breath freed, all the pretty demon horses.
[2093.0s] Go to sleep now, all of you.
[2097.0s] Tomorrow is Christmas.
[2101.0s] She kisses them and goes to Bob Cratchit, who is by the hearth.
[2105.0s] How did Tiny Tim behave?
[2108.0s] Oh, as good as can be expected.
[2110.0s] And better.
[2112.0s] You know, he told me it was super cute coming home,
[2115.0s] that he hoped people might see him in the church
[2118.0s] because he's differently abled
[2120.0s] and they might be able to reflect on how good they have it.
[2127.0s] That's kind of fucked up.
[2131.0s] But he's a good boy.
[2134.0s] The second spirit and Scrooge enter.
[2137.0s] Mrs. Cratchit feels a sudden draft.
[2140.0s] Oh.
[2141.0s] The wind.
[2143.0s] Hurry.
[2144.0s] She gets up and shuts the door.
[2146.0s] Hurry along, Scrooge.
[2147.0s] Quick.
[2148.0s] Like the wind here.
[2151.0s] He nudges Scrooge in before Mrs. Cratchit shuts the door.
[2154.0s] I'm coming.
[2155.0s] She hardly has spitables, what I'd say.
[2157.0s] Oh, I think they'd say a great deal more, Scrooge,
[2160.0s] if only they could see you.
[2162.0s] Oh, they should, should they?
[2163.0s] Well, I might have a word for them.
[2166.0s] You're here to listen?
[2167.0s] Oh, oh, yes.
[2168.0s] All right, well, then would you like to sit by the fire, please?
[2171.0s] Fine.
[2172.0s] Okay, but not a word.
[2174.0s] No.
[2175.0s] No talking, all listening.
[2176.0s] You too.
[2177.0s] Believe me, I've got this down now.
[2179.0s] I think Bob's about to speak, so pay attention to this.
[2182.0s] Raising his glass, my dear, to Mr. Scrooge.
[2187.0s] I give you Mr. Scrooge, the founder of the feast.
[2191.0s] Lord of the feast, indeed.
[2194.0s] If I had him here, I'd give him the flat of my axe to feast upon.
[2198.0s] I'm sure he'd have a good appetite for it.
[2202.0s] Not surprising.
[2203.0s] My dear, it is Christmas Eve.
[2206.0s] Yes, Christmas Eve, where we drink to the health of the cowardly, the odious,
[2213.0s] the stingy, hard, unfeeling men like Mr. Scrooge.
[2219.0s] You know he is, Robert.
[2222.0s] Nobody knows it better than you do, poor dear.
[2227.0s] Oh, boy, you only call me Robert when you're angry.
[2231.0s] Well, I know there's one thing, and that's on Christmas, one must be charitable.
[2237.0s] I'll drink a flagon to his health for your sake before the days,
[2243.0s] and not to waste the ale.
[2245.0s] Not for his.
[2247.0s] Long life to him.
[2249.0s] Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.
[2253.0s] He'll be very merry, I have no doubt.
[2259.0s] Well, if he cannot be, we must be happy for him.
[2264.0s] A song, a song is what's needed.
[2266.0s] Shush!
[2267.0s] Tim!
[2268.0s] I just got them down.
[2270.0s] He needs all the sleep he can get.
[2273.0s] Oh, if Tim's asleep on Christmas Eve, I'll be much mistaken.
[2277.0s] Tim! Tim!
[2279.0s] He must sing, dear.
[2281.0s] There's nothing else that might make him well.
[2283.0s] That's not how this works.
[2285.0s] What's up?
[2287.0s] You up?
[2289.0s] Just a little bit.
[2290.0s] A song, then.
[2291.0s] Entertain us.
[2293.0s] One of Dad's rousing midnight song times.
[2297.0s] Yeah, let's go sing a song.
[2298.0s] Okay, let's do this.
[2299.0s] Here we go.
[2301.0s] What child is this?
[2302.0s] I don't know.
[2303.0s] Ready, and a three, and a two, and a one, two, three.
[2307.0s] What child is this?
[2310.0s] I don't know the words.
[2316.0s] Every time, I know I've fucked it up.
[2318.0s] Sorry, Dad.
[2320.0s] As they sing, Scrooge speaks.
[2323.0s] Spirit.
[2324.0s] Yeah, one second.
[2325.0s] He holds up his hand.
[2326.0s] I'll stop singing and look at him.
[2328.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2330.0s] I've seen enough.
[2332.0s] When the spirit signals to the children,
[2334.0s] they leave the stage, singing the carol quietly.
[2337.0s] Tiny Tim remains, covered completely by the dark blanket,
[2340.0s] disappearing against the black.
[2343.0s] Tiny Tim, will he live?
[2347.0s] Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine.
[2350.0s] No, Scrooge, he's very ill.
[2352.0s] Oh, God.
[2353.0s] I don't know when the last time you went and saw a doctor was,
[2355.0s] but they typically don't prescribe music as medicine.
[2360.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2361.0s] Well, I mean, that's, yeah, that's reasonable,
[2364.0s] but you still haven't answered my question.
[2367.0s] Imitating Scrooge.
[2369.0s] If he be like today, he had better do it
[2371.0s] and decrease the seropelous population.
[2375.0s] Scrooge turns away.
[2377.0s] Erase, Scrooge.
[2380.0s] Erase those words from your thoughts.
[2383.0s] You are not the judge, so do not judge.
[2386.0s] It may be that in the sight of heaven,
[2388.0s] you are more worthless and less fit to live
[2391.0s] than millions like this poor man's child.
[2394.0s] And oh, the gods, to hear an insect on a leaf
[2397.0s] pronouncing that there's too much life
[2400.0s] among hid, hungry brothers in the dust.
[2403.0s] Well, to that, I say goodbye, Scrooge.
[2406.0s] Wait, wait, but is there no happiness in Christmas present?
[2411.0s] What would you do with happiness?
[2413.0s] There is.
[2415.0s] Well, take me there.
[2417.0s] It's at the home of your nephew, Scrooge.
[2419.0s] Nope, nope, nope, never mind.
[2422.0s] Then there is none.
[2423.0s] But that isn't enough.
[2425.0s] You've got to teach me.
[2427.0s] It's your job.
[2429.0s] Would you even have a teacher, Scrooge?
[2432.0s] Take a look at your own words.
[2434.0s] Well, the first spirit gave me more.
[2438.0s] Yes, the past.
[2440.0s] Me?
[2442.0s] I only have this day, one day,
[2444.0s] and I am stuck with you, Scrooge.
[2446.0s] I have nearly lived my fill of both.
[2449.0s] Christmas present must be gone at midnight.
[2452.0s] That is near now.
[2454.0s] He speaks to two beggar children
[2456.0s] who pause shyly at the far side of the stage.
[2459.0s] The children are thin and sickly.
[2461.0s] They are barefoot and wear filthy rags.
[2463.0s] Come to me, children.
[2465.0s] They go to him.
[2468.0s] Is this the last spirit who's come to me?
[2473.0s] No, Scrooge, it is not.
[2474.0s] They are no spirits.
[2476.0s] These are, well, they're real.
[2479.0s] This one's hunger.
[2481.0s] Hey.
[2482.0s] And this one, ignorance.
[2483.0s] Uh-uh.
[2484.0s] No, not spirits, Scrooge.
[2486.0s] They are but passing dreams.
[2488.0s] But they are real, and they walk your streets.
[2491.0s] They look to people like you for comfort.
[2495.0s] But you deny them.
[2497.0s] And if you deny them too long, Scrooge,
[2499.0s] they will grow and multiply,
[2501.0s] and they will not remain children,
[2503.0s] if you understand my meaning.
[2506.0s] Well, don't they have any where to go,
[2508.0s] like a place for help?
[2510.0s] Again, imitating Scrooge.
[2511.0s] Are there no prisons?
[2512.0s] Are there no workhouses?
[2514.0s] Tenderly to the children.
[2516.0s] Come, children.
[2517.0s] It's Christmas Eve.
[2518.0s] Let's leave this miser to himself.
[2521.0s] He leads the children off stage.
[2523.0s] I don't sound like that.
[2524.0s] I don't sound like that.
[2531.0s] Scrooge is entirely alone for a long moment.
[2534.0s] He is frightened by the darkness
[2536.0s] and feels it approaching him.
[2537.0s] Suddenly he stops,
[2539.0s] senses the presence of the third spirit,
[2541.0s] turns towards him and sees him.
[2543.0s] The spirit is bent and cloaked.
[2545.0s] No physical features are distinguishable.
[2552.0s] You are the third.
[2554.0s] The spirit says nothing.
[2557.0s] Uh, nothing.
[2559.0s] Uh, the ghost of Christmas yet to come?
[2563.0s] The spirit says nothing.
[2565.0s] Oh, well, that's not going to get very far.
[2567.0s] Yeah, that's me.
[2569.0s] Okay, so you can't speak to me then,
[2571.0s] so you tell me what's going to happen to me,
[2573.0s] to all of us.
[2575.0s] The spirit says nothing.
[2577.0s] Oh, this guy is just telling me to say nothing.
[2580.0s] Well, just, you know, just come along over here.
[2583.0s] Okay, you're going to show me what I got to see?
[2585.0s] Yeah, like, look.
[2587.0s] The spirit points.
[2589.0s] Light illuminates the shadows of Scrooge's house.
[2592.0s] Recognize that house?
[2593.0s] Well, yeah, I know it.
[2594.0s] Yeah, it's the house you're in.
[2595.0s] I know it well.
[2596.0s] It's the house Scrooge built.
[2597.0s] That's right, it's cold, it's cheerless, it's mine.
[2600.0s] The cook and the charwoman are dimly visible
[2602.0s] in Scrooge's house.
[2603.0s] What is, what the fuck?
[2606.0s] The thieves, the thieves in my rooms!
[2608.0s] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[2610.0s] Coolant?
[2611.0s] He starts forward to confront them,
[2613.0s] but the spirit beckons for him to stop.
[2616.0s] Hold on, I'm holding you back.
[2618.0s] I cannot, you can't tell me that I gotta watch him
[2620.0s] and do nothing?
[2621.0s] This is the Christmas future.
[2622.0s] You can't affect that.
[2623.0s] You're a spirit now, too.
[2624.0s] I will not, it is mine still.
[2627.0s] He rushes into the house to claim his belongings
[2629.0s] and to protect them.
[2630.0s] The two women do not notice his presence.
[2633.0s] Well, he, uh, he ain't about, is he?
[2635.0s] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[2637.0s] Well, let's try another new laugh.
[2638.0s] Okay, cool.
[2639.0s] Uh, poor old Scrooge just met his end again.
[2643.0s] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
[2644.0s] Oh, yeah, still sticking with it.
[2645.0s] I like this one.
[2646.0s] Yeah, that's fair.
[2647.0s] It's good.
[2648.0s] It fits you well.
[2649.0s] And time for it, too.
[2651.0s] Ain't been alive, indeed, for Raffy's life.
[2655.0s] Alive?
[2656.0s] Okay, now I hate asking this question,
[2658.0s] but the sparse, it's nowhere, is he?
[2660.0s] Emerging from the blackness.
[2662.0s] I emerge from the darkness.
[2665.0s] Oh, shit.
[2666.0s] Where, where it is my home
[2669.0s] in the blackness and the darkness?
[2671.0s] Why have you been looking for Sparset?
[2674.0s] The cook shrieks,
[2675.0s] but the charwoman treats the matter more practically,
[2678.0s] anticipating competition from Sparset.
[2681.0s] Look, now, get out of here.
[2683.0s] There ain't enough before the two of us.
[2685.0s] More than enough if you know where to look
[2688.0s] in the shadows.
[2690.0s] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[2691.0s] He's hardly, hardly decent
[2692.0s] is what I'd say, hardly decent.
[2694.0s] Oh, the poor old fella, hardly no.
[2697.0s] He's hardly cold,
[2698.0s] and you're thieving his wardrobe.
[2700.0s] What's hot coat?
[2702.0s] Oh, there's no time for that.
[2704.0s] Sparset acknowledges Scrooge for the first time,
[2706.0s] gesturing towards him
[2707.0s] as if the living Scrooge were the corpse.
[2710.0s] Scrooge stands as if rooted to the spot,
[2712.0s] held there by the power of the spirit.
[2714.0s] What the hell?
[2715.0s] He isn't about to bother us, is he?
[2719.0s] Well, ain't he a picture?
[2722.0s] Oh, he isn't a happy one.
[2724.0s] He isn't a happy one.
[2733.0s] Ladies, shall we start?
[2735.0s] The three of them grin and advance on Scrooge,
[2738.0s] snatching the cufflinks from the shirt Scrooge wears.
[2741.0s] Hey.
[2742.0s] Oh, they're gold, ain't they?
[2744.0s] The purest, madam.
[2746.0s] Those are mine.
[2747.0s] I always had a fancy for that knight capes.
[2750.0s] My old man could use it.
[2753.0s] She takes the knight cap from Scrooge's head.
[2755.0s] Sparset playfully removes Scrooge's outer garment,
[2758.0s] the coat or cloak that he has worn in the previous scenes.
[2761.0s] Excuse me?
[2762.0s] Be a man of practical tastes.
[2765.0s] Born in the darkness, I will go for the worsted
[2769.0s] and hope that the smell is not permanent.
[2777.0s] Cook, we go around again.
[2779.0s] I think that little bell he's always ringing at me
[2782.0s] is silver enough to sell.
[2784.0s] The three of them move toward the nightstand,
[2786.0s] and Scrooge cries out.
[2788.0s] No more! No more!
[2790.0s] As the spirit directs Scrooge's attention
[2792.0s] to the tableau of the three thieves
[2794.0s] standing poised over the silver bell,
[2796.0s] Scrooge bursts out of the house,
[2798.0s] clad only in his knight shirt.
[2800.0s] Listen, I know I'm half naked, but I cannot.
[2803.0s] I can't.
[2804.0s] This room, it's too, like a cheerless place
[2807.0s] and it's like so familiar and I won't see it.
[2810.0s] Let's go. Let's go anywhere but here.
[2812.0s] I mean, you decorated it, but yeah, sure.
[2814.0s] Let's look at house number two.
[2816.0s] Come on down.
[2817.0s] The spirit directs his attention to the Cratchit house.
[2820.0s] The children are sitting together near Ms. Cratchit,
[2823.0s] who is sewing a coat.
[2825.0s] Peter reads by the light of the coals.
[2827.0s] And he took a child and sat him in the midst of them,
[2830.0s] putting her hand to her face.
[2832.0s] The light tires my eyes so.
[2835.0s] Pause.
[2836.0s] They're better now.
[2838.0s] It makes them tired to try to see by firelight.
[2842.0s] And I would not show reddened eyes to your father
[2846.0s] when he comes home from the world.
[2849.0s] It must be near his time now.
[2852.0s] Pasty to think.
[2854.0s] But he walks slower than he used to
[2857.0s] these last few days, mother.
[2861.0s] I have known him to walk with tiny Tim
[2864.0s] upon his shoulder very fast indeed.
[2868.0s] She catches herself, then hurries on.
[2871.0s] But he was very light to carry,
[2874.0s] and his father loved him,
[2876.0s] so that was no trouble.
[2878.0s] No trouble.
[2880.0s] She hears Bob Cratchit approaching.
[2883.0s] Smiles, everyone.
[2885.0s] Smiles.
[2887.0s] Entering.
[2889.0s] My dear, Peter.
[2892.0s] All the other children.
[2894.0s] How's it coming?
[2895.0s] Handing him the coat.
[2896.0s] Nearly done.
[2898.0s] Yes, yes, good, good, good.
[2900.0s] I'm sure that it will be done long before Sunday.
[2903.0s] Sunday.
[2905.0s] You went today, then, Robert.
[2908.0s] Yes, it's already.
[2911.0s] Two o'clock and a nice place.
[2915.0s] It would have done you good to see how green it is.
[2918.0s] But you'll see it often.
[2919.0s] I promised him that.
[2921.0s] That I would walk there on Sunday often.
[2924.0s] We mustn't hurt ourselves for it, Robert.
[2927.0s] No, no, he wouldn't have wanted that.
[2930.0s] But come now.
[2931.0s] You won't guess who I've seen.
[2933.0s] Scrooge's nephew, Fred.
[2935.0s] And he asked after us,
[2937.0s] and he said he was heartily sorry,
[2939.0s] and to give his respect to my good wife.
[2942.0s] How he ever knew that, I don't know.
[2945.0s] Knew what, my dear?
[2947.0s] Why, that you were a good wife.
[2949.0s] Everybody knows that.
[2950.0s] Well, I hope that they do.
[2952.0s] Heartily sorry, he said, for your good wife.
[2955.0s] And if I can be of service to you in any way,
[2958.0s] then he gave me his card.
[2960.0s] That's where I live.
[2961.0s] And Peter, I shouldn't be at all surprised
[2964.0s] if he got you a position.
[2966.0s] Only hear that, Peter.
[2968.0s] And then you'll be keeping company
[2970.0s] with some young girl and setting up for yourself.
[2972.0s] Aw, come on.
[2973.0s] Well, it will happen one day.
[2976.0s] But remember, when that day comes, as it must,
[2979.0s] we must none of us forget poor Tiny Tim
[2982.0s] and this first parting in our family.
[2985.0s] He died?
[2987.0s] No.
[2989.0s] No.
[2991.0s] He steps back, and the scene disappears.
[2994.0s] He moves away from the spirit.
[3002.0s] Because he wouldn't.
[3004.0s] No, you can't tell me that he died.
[3007.0s] For that Christmas hasn't happened yet.
[3010.0s] And I will let it happen.
[3012.0s] I'll be there.
[3014.0s] Yeah, me.
[3015.0s] And yeah, I knew it.
[3017.0s] And I couldn't look.
[3019.0s] And I won't be able to help.
[3021.0s] I won't.
[3022.0s] But spirit, hear me.
[3026.0s] I'm not the man I was.
[3028.0s] I won't be that man that I've been all these years.
[3032.0s] So why show me all this if I'm past all hope?
[3036.0s] Assure me that yet I may change these shadows that you show me?
[3040.0s] Let the boy live.
[3042.0s] I'll honor Christmas in my heart
[3044.0s] and try to keep it there all the other days of the year.
[3047.0s] And I will in past, the present, and the future.
[3051.0s] The spirits of all three is going to live within me.
[3055.0s] But not in a weird way, but like in my heart and stuff.
[3058.0s] And I won't shadow the lessons that I was taught today.
[3061.0s] Just tell me that I'm not too late.
[3066.0s] Blackout!
[3070.0s] When the lights come up again, Scrooge is in bed.
[3073.0s] The third spirit has disappeared.
[3075.0s] Scrooge awakens and looks around his room.
[3078.0s] The curtains.
[3080.0s] They're mine and they're real.
[3082.0s] And they're not sold.
[3083.0s] They're here.
[3084.0s] And I'm here.
[3085.0s] And I have to give a raise to my house help.
[3088.0s] Because otherwise when I die, they're going to rob me blind.
[3091.0s] And I don't blame them.
[3093.0s] And I'm here.
[3094.0s] The shadows has been dispelled.
[3096.0s] And they will be.
[3098.0s] I know they will be.
[3099.0s] He dresses himself hurriedly.
[3101.0s] I can't go out naked.
[3103.0s] That's a modesty law we have here.
[3105.0s] Now I don't know what to do.
[3107.0s] As light as a feather, I have a second life.
[3110.0s] I'm merry as a boy again.
[3112.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3113.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3115.0s] I've got to practice.
[3117.0s] Happy New Year to all the world.
[3118.0s] I don't think I've said those words in my entire life.
[3121.0s] Hello there.
[3122.0s] Whoop.
[3123.0s] I've never whooped before.
[3125.0s] Hello.
[3126.0s] What day of the month is it?
[3127.0s] That's a weird question to ask.
[3128.0s] But I'm wondering how long did the spirits keep me?
[3131.0s] Whatever.
[3132.0s] I don't care.
[3133.0s] He opens the window and calls to a boy on the street below.
[3135.0s] You there, boy.
[3136.0s] What's today?
[3138.0s] Eh?
[3140.0s] Like the day, my fine fellow.
[3144.0s] Today?
[3146.0s] Why, it's Christmas Day.
[3149.0s] I thought I was the dense one here.
[3151.0s] It's Christmas Day?
[3152.0s] I haven't missed it.
[3154.0s] The spirits have done it all in one night.
[3156.0s] Gosh, they can do anything, hey?
[3158.0s] Okay, so of course they can.
[3160.0s] Of course they can save Tim.
[3162.0s] Excuse me.
[3163.0s] Hello.
[3164.0s] Yes, my fine fellow.
[3165.0s] Hello?
[3167.0s] Do you know the Chickaneers in the next street in the corner?
[3172.0s] I should hope I do.
[3175.0s] Oh, you're so smart.
[3177.0s] Oh, a remarkable boy.
[3179.0s] Okay, so do you know whether they sold that prize turkey that was hanging up there?
[3183.0s] Not the small little one.
[3184.0s] That thing was bullshit.
[3185.0s] But like the really big one.
[3187.0s] The one as big as me?
[3190.0s] Yes, what a delightful boy.
[3192.0s] Yes, my bucko.
[3193.0s] Yeah, I'm a bucko.
[3194.0s] Yeah, you are.
[3196.0s] It's in there now.
[3197.0s] It's hanging in there.
[3199.0s] It is?
[3200.0s] Go and buy it.
[3202.0s] I don't have any money.
[3203.0s] No, no, for realsies.
[3204.0s] Go and buy it.
[3205.0s] And tell him to bring it here.
[3208.0s] And I'll pay him when they get here.
[3210.0s] Don't you worry about it.
[3211.0s] They know I'm good for it.
[3212.0s] And I'm going to give them the direction where to take it.
[3215.0s] Okay?
[3216.0s] So you come back with the butcher and the really big turkey.
[3219.0s] And I'll give you a shelling.
[3220.0s] Or if you come back in less than two minutes, I'll give you half a crown.
[3224.0s] You betcha.
[3226.0s] He exits.
[3228.0s] I'll send it to Bob Cratchits.
[3231.0s] He's not going to know who sent it.
[3233.0s] Oh, it's going to be twice the size of Tiny Tim.
[3235.0s] It really needs to make sure it doesn't fall on him.
[3237.0s] That would be a really dark twist in this story.
[3239.0s] But, like, what a Christmas dinner it'll make.
[3242.0s] Carolers suddenly appear, singing,
[3244.0s] Hark the herald angels sing.
[3250.0s] Scrooge leans out the window and joins them in the song.
[3254.0s] Glory to the newborn king.
[3259.0s] Oh, wow.
[3260.0s] Oh, God, I'm not dressed.
[3262.0s] I got to dress.
[3263.0s] I got to dress.
[3264.0s] Christmas day.
[3265.0s] I got to look my best.
[3266.0s] I got to look my best for such a day.
[3268.0s] Where's my silk shirt?
[3270.0s] The boy and the butcher run in with the turkey.
[3272.0s] Oh, God, I'm not dressed.
[3275.0s] What?
[3276.0s] You're back already?
[3277.0s] Whoa, that's a turkey.
[3279.0s] You can't carry that all the way back to the Cratchits.
[3282.0s] Okay, here, boy.
[3283.0s] Here's your half a crown.
[3285.0s] And here's an address in Camden Town.
[3287.0s] You see that?
[3288.0s] See that?
[3289.0s] It gets there.
[3290.0s] Here, money for the cap and for the turkey.
[3292.0s] And for you, good man.
[3293.0s] The boy and the butcher, delighted, catch the money and run out.
[3296.0s] Scrooge sees the gentleman visitors walking by the window.
[3300.0s] Hello there.
[3302.0s] Oh, oh, hi.
[3304.0s] My dear, my dear, how do you do?
[3307.0s] I hope you succeeded yesterday.
[3309.0s] It was very kind of you to stop by and see me.
[3311.0s] Mr. Scrooge?
[3313.0s] That's my name.
[3314.0s] Don't wear it out.
[3315.0s] Although that's probably not like a really good name for you to hear
[3318.0s] because associations and whatnot.
[3321.0s] But allow me to ask for your forgiveness.
[3324.0s] And will you have the goodness to add this?
[3327.0s] Throwing him a purse?
[3329.0s] To your good work.
[3331.0s] Oh, oh, my goodness.
[3333.0s] My dear Mr. Scrooge, are you serious?
[3335.0s] If you please.
[3336.0s] And not a penny less.
[3337.0s] A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you.
[3341.0s] Will you do me that favor?
[3343.0s] My dear sir, we don't know what we can say to such generosity.
[3346.0s] Say nothing, just accept it.
[3349.0s] Come and see me.
[3350.0s] Will you come and see me?
[3351.0s] Yeah, of course we will.
[3353.0s] Thank you.
[3354.0s] I'm much obliged to you.
[3355.0s] Thank you 50 times.
[3357.0s] And God's bless you.
[3359.0s] And Merry Christmas.
[3361.0s] Merry Christmas to you, sir.
[3362.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3364.0s] Running downstairs out of his house and on to the street.
[3368.0s] Now, which way is it to that nephew's house of mine?
[3373.0s] Girl?
[3375.0s] Yes, sir.
[3376.0s] Yes, sir.
[3378.0s] Could you please be so kind as to find me a taxi?
[3382.0s] I can, sir.
[3384.0s] A coachman appears.
[3386.0s] Here, can you show me the way to this home?
[3389.0s] I can, sir.
[3391.0s] Spassett?
[3392.0s] I'm gigging, is it, Uber driver?
[3396.0s] Because I don't make enough money.
[3398.0s] Oh, heard, my dear fellow, heard.
[3400.0s] And it will be rectified, I promise.
[3403.0s] Thank you.
[3404.0s] Excuse me, my dear girl, would you be an old man's guide to a Christmas dinner?
[3409.0s] Make sure I don't make a fool of myself and such.
[3414.0s] They mount to the top of the taxi.
[3416.0s] I would, sir.
[3418.0s] And God's bless you.
[3420.0s] God's bless us, everyone.
[3423.0s] Raising his voice, almost in song.
[3426.0s] Driver to Christmas.
[3428.0s] They exit.
[3429.0s] Blackout.
[3434.0s] The lights come up for the finale at Fred's house.
[3436.0s] The Cratchits are there with Tiny Tim.
[3439.0s] I'll stop moving and talking when they hear knocking on the door.
[3443.0s] Okay, so we're going to do the step ball change, and then you're going to lift the hand.
[3447.0s] And Tiny Tim, if you, you actually can just watch my dear sweet wife.
[3451.0s] She's going to do an alternate sort of modified version.
[3454.0s] Okay.
[3455.0s] Okay.
[3456.0s] Okay, I'm just going to grab the door.
[3457.0s] Everybody practice.
[3459.0s] Uncle Scrooge.
[3462.0s] Yeah, yeah, hi.
[3465.0s] Hi, Merry Christmas.
[3467.0s] Come in.
[3469.0s] Thank you.
[3470.0s] I brought a whole bunch of people with me.
[3473.0s] Everyone's very welcome.
[3474.0s] Please come in.
[3475.0s] Somehow, mysteriously, a giant turkey arrived.
[3478.0s] Oh, what a surprise.
[3482.0s] I'm very glad to be here with your friend at your house.
[3489.0s] Oh, well, I'm very glad to have you here with us, too.
[3494.0s] Maybe meet your, maybe meet your wife finally.
[3498.0s] She would love that.
[3500.0s] Just, oh, come on in, come on in.
[3502.0s] Who is this stranger?
[3503.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3504.0s] This is my uncle.
[3505.0s] I told you so much about him.
[3507.0s] Oh, nice to meet you on Christmas.
[3510.0s] I am so sorry for everything that Fred probably said that was 110% true.
[3516.0s] But I want to make it up to you.
[3518.0s] I've been holding my hands above my head for far too long.
[3521.0s] Okay, yeah, everybody.
[3522.0s] Okay, let's take a break.
[3524.0s] We can take a break, everybody.
[3525.0s] You don't need to.
[3528.0s] Everyone's here.
[3529.0s] I just, I just want to say Merry Christmas.
[3536.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3538.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3539.0s] Merry Christmas.
[3540.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[3541.0s] I'm still working on it, too.
[3545.0s] They sing, greeting one another and exchanging gifts.
[3548.0s] Scrooge puts Tiny Tim on his shoulders.
[3551.0s] Whoa, there you go.
[3552.0s] Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[3554.0s] I probably should have asked first.
[3555.0s] I'm so sorry.
[3556.0s] Like, geez.
[3557.0s] You're very carryable.
[3558.0s] I saw Cratchit do it like a hundred times.
[3560.0s] Yeah, no, well, that's, that's the mobility thing, but it's okay.
[3563.0s] Bahama bless us, everyone.
[3566.0s] Oh, yeah, what he said.
[3572.0s] A Dungeon's Christmas Carol is based on the stage adaptation of Charles Dickens' original
[3577.0s] work by Frederick Gaines.
[3579.0s] Starring Carla Maxted as Fred and Gentleman Visitor Number One, Tom Laird as Bob Cratchit,
[3585.0s] Ben Benjamin and Sweetheart of Scrooge, Russ Morris Cook, Jacob Marley, Third Spirit
[3591.0s] and Tiny Tim, Kyle Claset as Fezziwig and Second Spirit, Kristen Flemmons as
[3597.0s] Char Woman, Mrs. Cratchit and Young Scrooge, Abdul Aziz as Gentleman Visitor Number Two
[3603.0s] in Sparse It, Cicero Holmes as First Spirit, Warder, Boy and Girl, Rev Deshaen as Jack
[3610.0s] Walton and fan Scrooge's sister, with Amy More as Scrooge and Justin Foisey as
[3617.0s] your scene narrator.
[3619.0s] Production and sound design by Russ More.
[3622.0s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Artlist, sound effects from
[3626.0s] Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, Sound Ideas and Sound Snap.
[3631.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[3651.0s] Thank you so much for listening to this special presentation of a Dungeon's
[3656.0s] Christmas Carol.
[3657.0s] We hope like many other holiday favorites, it becomes part of your
[3661.0s] yearly listening traditions.
[3663.0s] And from all of us to you, we wish you a happy and safe holiday season
[3668.0s] spent with family and friends.
[3671.0s] Thank you.
[3681.0s] There you go.
[3697.0s] Beautiful.
[3698.0s] It's great.
[3700.0s] Nailed it.
[3702.0s] We don't even have to do that a second time.
[3704.0s] No, no, I think that's good enough.
[3706.0s] No notes.
[3707.0s] Print.
[3708.0s] Got it in one.
[3709.0s] That's why we take our headphones off.
[3711.0s] Scrooge fits.
[3714.0s] Scrooge fits the key.
[3717.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.